My New Mantra

I have a new mantra . . . "I love my dogs, I love my dogs, I love my dogs." Not so this morning. The older one, Oreo, can get on the bed and evidently he did that while I was in the shower this morning. How do I know this? Because I couldn't find my glasses and I knew I had left them on my bedside table. I've long been out of contacts and my eye doctor won't prescribe more until I come in for an eye exam therefore I am very dependent on my glasses. I asked Leah to come in and look under my bed - the grave yard for all things both of the dogs can get in their mouths. If I run out of panties, I look under the bed. Well, my glasses were under there and so was my ipod. The glasses suffered minor damage (thank goodness!) but my ipod case was in shreds and my marshmallow headphones ($20) were even worse. I try to remember to keep things put up and I usually keep my bedroom door closed. Leah, with those big brown eyes looking up at me, reminded me that "Mommy, they're just puppies." Lucky dogs. They both owe her big time.

We've been so busy. Leah turned seven on Monday and we had a little party/picnic for her at the park. She loved it. She also loves being seven. As I tucked her in bed Monday night after all the festivities, she looked at me and said, "I'm almost eight now!" Lord help me.

My sister was here over the weekend and it was a usual visit with her. I've learned to stay detached but I still feel out of balance when she leaves. As usual she had her little comments about my conservative lifestyle. She's a very liberal lesbian and I wonder if she feels like she has to put down my lifestyle. Whatever, I'm always exhausted when she leaves. Christmas wasn't that way but I think that is because her partner kept her in check. I think her partner is more comfortable with who she is and therefore doesn't feel the need to cut others down.

I've been feeling so totally out of shape lately that I decided to work with a personal trainer again. Tonight was the first night and she really worked me. I know my arms are going to be sore tomorrow. She's good though and very encouraging. I feel so much better having worked out today - it amazes me that I ever stopped. Leah and I are participating in a fitness and nutrition class. We are learning a lot and I wanted to reinforce it for her. I know the best way to do that is to do it myself so that is what I'm doing. She is in a walking club this summer and did a 3-1/2 mile hike. She also just joined a jump rope club and has her own workout routine with other kids her age. I found out tonight that my personal trainer has done a lot of research and work with childhood obesity so she had a lot of good information for me.

Not much else is going on. I'm working on my website design portfolio so I can start looking for a job in the field soon. I want to finish this last class I'm in. After that I'll take other classes that will enhance what I've already taken. I'm nervous about making a total career change but I think I'll like it once I get in a job. I have definitely pushed the envelope in getting out of my comfort zone in the last 2-1/2 years. I've done and am doing things that I never thought that I would or could. Sometimes I look back and wonder where that other person who used to be me has gone. I know if Ray were here he'd be cheering me on . . . he always encouraged me to keep growing and to keep setting new goals. I've definitely done that.

Time to get back to studying. Happy 4th!