Finally - it's Friday!

For some reason this week has seemed extremely long. I feel such a sense of relief that it is finally Friday night. I am trying not to stress about the fact that we leave the day after tomorrow and I am no where near ready. I still haven't bought all the Christmas gifts and our apartment is a mess. I keep reminding myself "one thing at a time" but I have always looked ahead at everything that needs to get done. I have to get the dog to the vet at 8:30 in the morning for the next set of shots and to be groomed. I didn't want to take a stinky dog to Orlando with us. I also have to get the oil changed in the car. Laundry, cleaning the apartment, finishing the shopping and then all the wrapping - a lot of it has to be done while Lele is asleep. Enough of the "to do list!"

Tonight while we were eating supper, Lele looked across the table at me with those big brown eyes of hers and said that sometimes it didn't feel like I was her mother. She has said this to me quite a bit lately and I've just brushed it off by saying something like "Well I am!" and let it go at that. Tonight, however, I took the plunge. I asked her if she felt like there was someone else and she answered yes. Then I asked her if it was because she was adopted. She seemed relieved that I understood and said, "Yes! That's why." I asked her if she really knew what adoption was and she explained to me what it was accurately. Then I asked her if she wondered about the woman who grew her in her tummy. I told her that her daddy and I picked her out of all the babies in the world who didn't have a mommy or daddy. She asked me if that was why she was adopted, because she didn't have a mommy or daddy. I was truthful and told her not exactly but that the girl who gave birth to her wasn't able to take care of her. Then she surprised me when she asked if that mommy and daddy were lazy and didn't want to take care of her. I assured her that was not the case but that the girl who had her was very young. "What about her husband?" she asked. I told her she didn't have a husband. She wrinkled up her nose and said, "Oh." After a few minutes she walked around to my side of the table and put her arms around me and told me that she was glad that I was her mommy. I knew this time was coming but gosh I didn't expect it yet. I have never pulled any punches with her. I was totally honest with her when her daddy died two years ago. It is just so hard sometimes because I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. I want to be sure to make her see adoption as a good thing. Thank goodness I have plenty of time to do that.

Well, I have a lot to do so will stop for now. I'm glad I'm back to blogging again. I missed it.