Wednesday, August 6, 2008

It's all good

It has been a good day. I've been surrounded by good friends, good co-workers, nice people, an adorable daughter and two cute puppies. I've had stimulating work to do that kept me busy and made me feel productive and like I was contributing something good to others. I had good lunch company and great conversation. I came home tonight and was lucky enough to converse with some wonderful neighbors and then I spent a half an hour talking to a close friend on the telephone. I even got flowers at work today - how cool is that?? Leah and I curled up together and talked about her day and her fears about starting second grade. Having that time with her is worth everything to me. Having a close relationship with her is something that I cherish. I'm grateful for where I am right now. I'm in a good place all the way around; emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically.

I've learned a valuable lesson this week. One that, for some reason, I have to relearn from time to time. Ray always told me that I had amazing instincts and that he would trust my gut feelings any day over anything else. I've had a "gut" feeling about someone in my life for awhile now but started to second guess myself this week. I've always believed that to truly know someone you should watch what they do and not necessarily listen to what they say. So, this week I sat back and just observed how this person acted. In no way did it match up to what he said. I really wanted to believe what he said because it was what I wanted but after observing his actions (or lack of them) I realized that my instincts were true. I realized that if this person really loved me as he has said that he does, his actions would be way different. I'm glad I've finally realized the truth (by his actions, not his words) because now I am able to move on. It has been very liberating for me. I now know that this person is not the right one for me (I've known it in my head for awhile, it has just taken my heart some time to catch up) and I look forward to meeting the one who is right for me. It scares me to think that I was so close to settling for someone who would bring me down instead of bringing out the best in me. Someone who wanted to change me to be what he wanted and not accept who I am. I almost compromised my faith for this person. I'm so glad that I didn't.

I've got work to do so I'll sign off for now.

1 comment:

Kim said...

So glad that you had this moment in your life.

Can't believe that you're going to have a 2nd grader.

Harder yet, I have a 3rd grader! YIKES!